Nine Ways I Would Prefer Not To Die

Smothered in a prolonged group hug.The Grim Reaper

The Grim ReaperPierced in the forehead by a metallic Ninja hurling star.

In a fall from a high tower, while holding an armload of harpoons.The Grim Reaper

The Grim ReaperBlacking out from anesthesia as a group of fat guys close in with spoons.

Crushed by an inexplicable number of doilies.The Grim Reaper

The Grim ReaperGummed to death by malicious old men.

Shot from a cannon onto a long, pointy stick.The Grim Reaper

The Grim ReaperAlone, on the subway, holding a potted fern.

 

And, finally,

Melanoma.The Grim Reaper

My word, where did you find those little grim reaper pictures? Giving Edward Gorey a run for his money, I see . . . ;-)

Now that you mention it, it is a bit Gashlycrumby.

I would prefer not to die listening to that Justin Timberlake song over and over and over.

Meg,

I would think that in such a circumstance death would be welcome.

I like your Nine Ways I Would Prefer Not To Die but here are Nine Ways I Would Prefer Not to be Found Dead:

1. On the Toilet with a clogged bowl movement
2. Drowned in the kiddy pool of a cruise ship
3. Sufficated by a car air bag
4. In the rear seat of a burning car with the child safety locks on
5. With an arrow in my head inside Spensor’s gag shop
6. In front of my computer with porn on the screen
7. Starved to death in a buffet line
8. Choked on an Ice pop
9. Commenting on this bloaarrrrgg……….

Kenny,

Oddly enough, I find myself in each of these situations almost daily. Death stalks me at every moment. I am constantly on the verge of the Final Exit. I am especially menaced by sinister ice pops.

And yet people wonder why I’m jumpy.