HAMLET, Prince of Denmark: Wallace Shawn
CLAUDIUS, the King: Adam Sandler
LATIFAH, the Queen: Kenneth Branagh
OPHELIA: Courtney Love
HAMLET’S GHOST: Stephen Hawking
POLONIUS: Larry the Cable Guy
HORATIO: Sir Mix-A-Lot
GRISWOLD: Chevy Chase
LAERTES: Dustin “Screech” Diamond
CATWOMAN: Julie Newmar
ROSENCRANTZ: Otto
GUILDENSTERN: George
YOUR BARTENDER: Ted Lange
PLAYER KING: Donny Most
MARCELLUS: Carlos Mencia
BARNARDO: also Dustin “Screech” Diamond
FORTINBRAS: A Department Store Mannequin Dressed Like A Norwegian
GRAVEDIGGER: Billy Crystal
LORDS, LADIES, OFFICERS, SOLDIERS, TELEMARKETERS, SCIENTOLOGISTS, LOUNGE SINGERS
4 comments
Comments feed for this article
Trackback link
http://killthisblog.com/2008/07/30/worst-possible-hamlet/trackback/
July 30, 2008 at 8:45 am
Random Kath
You know, some of your choices might actually work in a real production. I mean, Courtney Love as Ophelia (if, you know, half sober), Wallace Shawn as Hamlet, and Billy Crystal as the gravedigger - that might be something I would pay to see . . .
July 30, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Jerry Thomas
I’m thinking of this as an experiment in bad casting. I think Wallace Shawn (not a bad actor) would be an insufferable Hamlet, but now you got me thinking that somebody else could be even worser. Ray Romano, say. Or Chuck Norris.
Courtney Love strikes me as the Anti-Ophelia, but she might be fun to watch in a train-wreck kind of way. And if you’d pay money to see Billy Crystal as the gravedigger, you’re in luck! He had that role in Branagh’s Hamlet, now available on DVD! (This is where I’m supposed to put my affiliate link to Amazon, but I’m too lazy to try to monetize today.)
July 30, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Random Kath
I had been thinking of Wallace Shawn as he was in “Princess Bride,” which would be a bit of a wacky choice, matching the Anti-Ophelia. I have a feeling Billy Crystal probably played his part straight in the Branagh version, which would negate the wacky factor that I would hoping for . . .
July 31, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Jerry Thomas
Branagh’s Hamlet has a lot going for it. First, it’s the entire text of the play. While most stagings cut out a lot of the play to keep the running time within the range of human stamina, Branagh’s is the whole thing. It’s also got a lot of cameos, including Jack Lemmon and Robin Williams. I’m not a huge Robin Williams fan, but he has a lot of fun with his part (Osric), and it’s hard not to enjoy his sense of glee in refereeing the sword fight. It came out on DVD about a year ago, and I’ve been meaning to get it, but still haven’t gotten around to it…