Worst Possible Full House

JESSE KATSOPOLIS:  John Stamos

JOEY GLADSTONE:  Dave Coulier

DANNY TANNER:  Bob Saget

DJ TANNER:  Candace Cameron

STEPH TANNER:  Jodie Sweetin

MICHELLE TANNER:  Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

JESSE KATSOPOLIS: King of Hearts

JOEY GLADSTONE: King of Clubs

DANNY TANNER: King of Spades

DJ TANNER: Queen of Hearts

STEPH TANNER: Queen of Diamonds

MICHELLE TANNER: Useless instruction card that comes in the pack of cards

Kenny: You’re not playing with a full deck.

ROFL, I can’t afford one in this economy.

CHEERS
Sam: Sting
Diane: Condoleeza Rice
Carla: Courtney Love
Frasier: Dennis Miller
Woody: George Bush
Norm: Terry Bradshaw
Cliff: Bob Costas
Ernie: Again, George Bush
Lilith: Keith Olbermann, dressed in drag
Rebecca: Britney Spears

Giovanni: The thought of Dennis Miller and Keith Olbermann locked forever in a doomed passion seems somehow apt. Creepy, but apt.