November 2008

This time our coveted Dardanella of the Month Award goes to Satchmo, i. e., Louis Armstrong and his All Stars, circa 1956. Curiously enough, Mr. Armstrong himself does not seem to appear on this recording, apparently stepping aside to let his highly accomplished ensemble step into the spotlight. And that spotlight focuses most strongly on clarinetist Mr. Edmond Hall, who, it seems from my twenty minutes of exhaustive research, had quite an impressive career, spanning many decades, even, for a time, fronting his own band. There is, alas, no video to accompany this recording, but we do have the imeem.com player for me to embed and for you to enjoy:

Unfortunately, it seems that imeem now requires registration to hear more than a thirty-second clip of the tune. But it’s free, and I think it’s worth the trip, if you’re interested in hearing more of it — just click the “Dardanella” link in the embedded player. It’s an impeccable performance of the song — but what else would you expect from a group with Louis Armstrong’s name on it?

Since we don’t have a video Dardanella this time, let me throw in an extra treat: A video featuring Louis with Bing Crosby cutting loose in a big way. It’s a chance to see the spotlight fall on quite a few of the Armstrong group, including the aforementioned Edmond Hall. It’s a fun clip, with charisma splattering all over the place. And, being that it’s YouTube, there’s no registration required.

Click to play, dummy!

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(Note to the reader: I’m too lazy to join these random thoughts into a coherent essay. Connect your own damn dots, people!)

I was thinking about Prince Charles today. You know those people who are, like, you know — British? Well, he’s like the KING of that.

My friend Chet just died. The last thing I said to him was, “You wanna know the definition of insanity? It’s when you do the same thing over and over and expect a different result.” Looking back, I’m thinking this was maybe not the smartest thing I could have said midway through a game of Russian Roulette.

True fact: Although ants are highly social insects, they almost never give each other nicknames.

My favorite part about doing the laundry? Cleaning the lint screen. True!

Moreover, both of the R’s in J. R. R. Tolkein’s name stand for “Redundant.”

My life is full of disappointments. For example, I was all excited when I started reading John Stuart Mill’s The Subjection of Women until I realized it’s not a how-to manual.

Yes, I am outraged that The Blue Man Group has been denied membership in the NAACP. Thanks for asking.

Meanwhile, curing cancer aside, consider that if you’re already bald and sleepy, chemotherapy offers you absolutely nothing to look forward to.

Used to be, everyone knew what a Sharpie was, but nobody knew that everybody knew that. Then that football guy whips out a Sharpie in the end zone, and suddenly everybody knows that everybody knows what a Sharpie is. So that’s what real fame is — not when everybody knows you, but when everybody knows that everybody knows you. So start telling people you’ve heard of me, dammit!

By now, the more observant among you will have noted that while the title of this piece promises Thirteen Stupid Thoughts this list contains only eleven items. This can be accounted for as follows: Firstly, I’m counting the idea that I should be posting this at all as One Stupid Thought. And thirdly, I can’t count, which brings the grand total to seventeen, thereby bringing our list in line with our title (overlooking a rounding error).

Finally, if you think innovation is easy, remember that the guy who invented the pencil had to carry the idea around on a blank napkin.

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