JESSE KATSOPOLIS: John Stamos
JOEY GLADSTONE: Dave Coulier
DANNY TANNER: Bob Saget
DJ TANNER: Candace Cameron
STEPH TANNER: Jodie Sweetin
MICHELLE TANNER: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
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GILLIGAN: Tommy Lee Jones
THE SKIPPER: Andy Dick
THE MILLIONAIRE: William Shatner
HIS WIFE: Leonard Nimoy
THE MOVIE STAR: Kathy Bates
THE PROFESSOR: Noam Chomsky
MARY ANN: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
Could be worse, I guess. Or could it? Leave a comment to suggest any even scarier ideas.
HAMLET, Prince of Denmark: Wallace Shawn
CLAUDIUS, the King: Adam Sandler
LATIFAH, the Queen: Kenneth Branagh
OPHELIA: Courtney Love
HAMLET’S GHOST: Stephen Hawking
POLONIUS: Larry the Cable Guy
HORATIO: Sir Mix-A-Lot
GRISWOLD: Chevy Chase
LAERTES: Dustin “Screech” Diamond
CATWOMAN: Julie Newmar
ROSENCRANTZ: Otto
GUILDENSTERN: George
YOUR BARTENDER: Ted Lange
PLAYER KING: Donny Most
MARCELLUS: Carlos Mencia
BARNARDO: also Dustin “Screech” Diamond
FORTINBRAS: A Department Store Mannequin Dressed Like A Norwegian
GRAVEDIGGER: Billy Crystal
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